Nisarga

Category: Daily Life

  • Dosa with Nisarga

    Today when we went out for a walk, Nisarga had already been suffering cabin fever at home (which is a normal state of being) and was desperate to go out. Once out, he was in a grand mood, excited and all. Met kids in the compound somewhat reluctantly – he wanted to be on the move.

    On the road, he was happy, animated. Enjoying. When we passed a dosa stall, he almost fell off the pram as he turned to keep it in sight. I have started recognizing this – he does it with rickshaws too.

    Dosas being made on a street food stall.

    So I treated him to a dosa at that stall. Butter cheese dosa without chutney. Parked his pram on the street facing the traffic for entertainment, and squatted right next to it and we shared our first street food looking at cars come in.

    Was good fun, if unorthodox – this squatting next to a pram, and talking with a kid and sharing a dosa, but I found it very charming. Good fun to do on an evening walk.

    Good fun. Here is a pic of the dosa guy from another day.

    Really like this dosa stall, because they make yummy dosas and are clean

  • What a scare!

    Our bedroom has a broken lock for many days. It can be opened from the inside, but not the outside. The rule is to not close the bedroom door when no adult is inside. Particularly if Nisarga is in.

    Today, the husband returned home late, drunk, and called me out of the room to talk. Knowing that it was a guarantee for a racket if we remained there, I went. A minute later, he went to the loo, and saw the door open, and reflexively closed it.

    The minute he did it, he realized. He tried to open the door, it wouldn’t open. He came and told me.

    We immediately started hunting for tools to break open the lock – ideally a screw driver. Couldn’t find. All through I was fuming at Raka and dreading that Nisarga would wake and we wouldn’t be able to reach him.

    I found a nail cutter and tried using the small knife in it to open the door. Of course, that wouldn’t work. returned for more searching. Praying that Nisarga wouldn’t wake up.

    In the meanwhile, Raka wandered to the kitchen and got a spoon and went at the door. Noisy stuff happened and I cringed, but I knew going there to pick a fight was no use. The spoon fell a few times. Nisarga is particularly alert to metallic sounds, and I hoped that he hadn’t heard and woken up.

    Approached the husband, and he was using the spoon like a screw driver. Good thinking. More importantly, it was working. One screw out, two more to go. He started explaining it loudly to me. I hastily went back to the drawing room. If we talked, Nisarga would wake for sure.

    Ten minutes and some noises later, Raka swayed back into the room. I was smoking enough to make my eyes tear – or was it me being a mom?

    “The door is open” he said. “I may be drunk stupid enough to close it, but I opened it also. You should trust me more. Is there any more of that vodka you are having?”

    I had already rushed halfway to the bedroom to check. The door was indeed open. Nisarga was sleeping. All is well that ends well.

    “You are totally useless in an emergency. You should trust me more. I care about him too.”

    Indeed. I had forgotten in my blame, but that is true.

  • Nisarga likes a Bengali Song!

    These last few days, Nisarga has been absolutely cranky. He has a cold, plus is teething a pre-molar. One of the pointy tips of the tooth is out, another is under the surface. That must be painful.

    Painful or not, he is cranky, clingy.

    One blessing is an accidental discovery:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2RglOi8gsA

    When Bhupen Hazarika died, I played “Manush Manusher Jonya” for him on headphones, and he was absolutely fascinated. He heard it several times, including tolerating the headphones. So, grabbing that idea, I played it again, and it works!

    Music has always been a solution with this guy

    So, I have now heard this song gazillion times. Good thing it is such an awesome song, or it would have been torture. I love it too… still not tired. What an awesome heart to heart song! Maybe that is why Nisarga likes it.

  • Putting a baby to sleep

    So after over two years of experience, I consider myself as somewhat experienced at putting a baby to sleep. At least this particular baby.

    There is a formula. When it is time for bed and I see eyes drooping, pick him up and let him settle to sleep. If he won’t sleep, check hungry, thirsty, uncomfortable, overtired. In that order for Nisarga at least. By the time you reach the end of the list, the little guy is asleep.

    Not today. Checked all. Double checked. Triple checked. No go. He was crying, sobbing clinging. Rocked him for two hours flat. Fed him once in the middle of it. No go.

    Shoulders aching and frankly fed up, I put him down praying that he wouldn’t start crying, so that I could at least visit the loo.

    As I lowered him, he started whimpering. Resolute, I put him down anyway. He curled on his side and slept!!!

    Then what were the last two hours all about?

  • I yelled at Nisarga today

    Nisarga has a cold. He has been whiny, fussy, clingy all day. Shoulders tired of carrying him. Ears tired of hearing crying I have no idea how to fix. I take care of his comforts, but …. I suppose he is just …. unhappy.

    End of day time, and he was showing no signs of wanting to sleep. Only crying, clinging…. I had been thinking of an ugly incident all day today, where two people got stabbed on the street and died, and justice is being obstructed by politicians themselves. It is a frustrating subject. Perfect recipe for short tempers, and I should have seen it coming.

    I was trying to rock Nisarga to sleep and he was in a kind of limbo. Not asleep, but quiet. And I reached for my much neglected mug of tea. That was the time for him to jerk and throw himself around crying again, and the tea spilled on both of us. It wasn’t hot, of course, or I’d never have brought it near him, but still, terrified he could burn himself like this (illogical, I know) and partly tired and frustrated myself, I just yelled at him asking him what he wanted and why he wasn’t sleeping.

    Eyes big as saucers, lower lip trembling, sobs started spilling… and damn. What was his fault at all? He was ill, miserable and showing it the only way he could. What did I expect? For him to hide and suffer alone if he was unhappy? Whose job was it to keep him safe from things he didn’t understand? Mine. I felt like a total rat.

    I hugged him close, apologized, sang him a song, offered water, did all I could to get him settled and comfortable again, and was humbled that he trusted me again. Not that he had a choice. A friend once wrote:

    A kid never loves you. They are dependent on you, they are used to you, they know comfort through you. Love comes much later, if they do have a choice and still choose you – you have to earn that.

    So true. It is so easy to think of myself as a caring parent and act in an uncaring way. I was ugly, I was disrespectful, and I ignored both our tiredness and irritation till it spilled over, and then took it out on him. Not proud of myself today, but learning.

    And maybe I did learn something, because fifteen minutes after my great enlightenment, the little guy was fast asleep. Maybe he simply needed me to be more respectful of his mood to be comfortable?

  • Another breakthrough with ad hoc Feldenkrais Method

    Those following this blog for long know that I have been learning the Feldenkrais Method on my own (and not too well) from videos found online and books and training videos purchased on the internet. Basically, this being such an experiential knowledge, simply watching or words are not really “enough”, but in the absence of a practitioner within reach, and with my belief in the Method, I am doing what I can.

    So, after a long plateau, during which, I lost motivation, etc. I ended up taking a break. Then I began again a few days ago. The first day or so was… okay… nothing really happened, but three days ago, something suddenly clicked for Nisarga with how he uses his back (or rather how he didn’t use his back, but could). That session exploded into possibilities.

    Difficult to put into words, but the end result is that Nisarga is now much more happy about holding and banging toys, which he had lost when he regressed. He has also started applying his knee to the floor to help his creeping. He requires lesser assistance in sitting up, and is able to maintain his sitting much better than before. His back is more relaxed and the curve in his spine doesn’t show as much.

    I suppose all this would have happened much earlier in the hands of a skilled practitioner, since for me it is an awkward process of remembering movement possibilities I had noted in videos, seeing how any of them might fit what we are doing, innovating based on them, being sensitive to Nisarga’s body and mind… many things at once… I am not skilled enough yet for it all to just instinctively happen, as it does for those with more experience, but I guess it is far superior to not having known about the method at all.

    He just figured out that his back could do more than he was using it for, and it kind of flowed from there. Very optimistic. Watching videos and reading a lot again, so that I can use this breakthrough and we can figure out more ways the body has potential…

    This is also good on another level, because I was getting a lot of flak for discontinuing his Physiotherapy on my own initiative, because it wasn’t helping and he seemed to be getting stiffer from all the demands of applying strength to achieve something that was basically movement. It was also making his scoliosis more pronounced (not that any of the doctors noticed that or agreed when I pointed it out until the recent doctor from Vile Parle), which I found worrying. The doctor had prescribed braces, but to me it made more sense to get rid of the tenseness than to prevent it from showing as a distortion.

    In any case, with over 6 months of physio, he hadn’t really achieved any particular milestone – he still wasn’t sitting or crawling, creeping erratically… and any progress from one session was not lasting unless repeated constantly. That isn’t learning. But to me, as a mother with a “non-performing” child, it had become about defending a decision made with considerable thinking, observing and soul searching in the face of those who insisted on the proper procedure being followed, recommended training being given, etc.

    *Sigh* it always seems to be a fight between responsive choices and choices deemed right by the world.

    Anyway, he is creeping far more fluidly than the physiotherapy allowed him, his scoliosis is relaxing again, and I can SHOW the difference to skeptics – which definitely helps.

  • Bhaubeej 2011

    So, Bhaubeej, or Bhaidooj, as the Hindi people call it was yesterday, and Nisarga had a blast.

    Actually his day hadn’t been so great since he had been constipated again after quite a while of good stomach, so he was fussy. But all that changed when he reached there. Normally the boy who yells and forces people to pay attention to him instead of talking with each other was delighted to be at the center of everyone’s attention.

    Reminded me of what another aunt said. “In a family gathering, the babies thrive in the middle of the room” Absolutely true for this guy at least. Not much to say – the pics will say it all (including a brand new picture for his profile).

    We had a pretty good time, actually. He played a lot, we talked a lot, his recent development into sitting more surely got a lot of approving noises… more on that later.

    The food was good. Nisarga ate first and slept on time, so we ate stress free… like clockwork to the point of him waking up just as things got boring and wanting to poop (which meant we headed home while others talked themselves down to normalcy) just the way his dad and mom tend to do, so perhaps it is hereditary 😀

  • A day for heading out

    So, Nisarga has discovered that there is a whole new exciting world out there. And he wants to go out. out. out. All. The. Time.

    Bring him back from a walk and he turns right back to the door.

    To summarize since he woke up at 8:15am today (and it is 9:30am now)….

    • Woke up, smiled, pointed to the door. So I took him there, we rang the door bell a few times, rode the lift to the ground floor and back.
    • He wanted to go out. I took him along to buy milk.
    • He wanted to go out. We rode the lift down, went to the gate of the building, watched cars drive past.
    • He wanted to go out. We went and said “Hi” to the neighbour
    • He wanted to go out. By now, his grandmother was free. He is taking her out just now as I type.

    This boy definitely inherits both genes and impatience from both parents. God save us :p

  • Bath Time

    Here are two videos from our bath time escapades. Nisarga has always loved the playing in water part of bathing and always hated the washing face part of it. :D

    The fun lies in catching a stream of water or pushing a bobbing toy under. Some of the most enjoyable moments of the day.

  • Doctor’s visit in Parle

    Much has happened since the previous posts. I finally gave up on trying to patch the marriage and have moved back to the father, which isn’t a big improvement, but still as step in the right direction.

    So, we needed a pediatrician in Parle, and we went to one this time. And what an ace!!! Nisarga has five tests pending – all of them off beat and not easily found, so most doctors kept pointing us to Jaslok, where their appointment procedure was confusing, and it is an hour’s drive at least, so multiple appointments would be a pain.

    In an effort to get what we could done nearby, so that at least the agenda on the day we did go to Jaslok was lesser, I got the opthalmic testing done yesterday. The doctor found nothing of concern, but recommended another test – again at Jaslok.

    Today’s doctor was able to provide us options that were literally within fifteen minutes at home, plus definite contact numbers and so on. Very useful.

    He also was the first doctor to acknowledge that Nisarga’s spine indeed seems to have a curve. Most doctor’s had shrugged it off as something of less consequence. So I wasn’t being paranoid and his back does have a curve.

    Nisarga was his usual engaging self while we waited, and lost patience rapidly once we went in. Luckily, the location of the clinic is very charming and child friendly. Here are some pictures of Nisarga from when we waited.

    At the end of the day, we are to do four more tests. The Karyotyping, Metabolic screening, BERA and eye opinion. Pretty much as planned originally. Just confirmed. However, he provided us on information where we can get these done without having to go too far. Also phone numbers from each place for getting appointments. Much improvement over the crazy attempts with Jaslok – very strange that no one in their ENT seemed interested in picking the phone and the one time they did, they sounded like they hadn’t heard of BERA, even though the receptionist had connected me with great confidence.

    Earlier, most of the advice had been to go to Jaslok, which had been a big problem for me both in terms of expense as well as managing without assistance with Nisarga. So this is a most welcome visit in terms of making things possible, even though nothing different is known or happening on the medical front because of it. For the information of anyone else who may need it, I’ll share the details as and when we do the tests.